Tour de France: Etapes 4 through 9!

The breakdown for the first week of the Tour is so: Armstrong takes a bite out of his closest rival (and teammate) Contador with a cunning technical move during a windy stage. Closest rival and teammate Contador is non-plussed and takes first opportunity (Stage 7) to take the time back from Lance and put himself into second place. He attacks on the final climb of Stage 7 into Arcalis and takes back the 20+ seconds Armstrong stole with the help of Team Columbia. So now after Stages 8 and 9, an Italian Rinaldo Nocentini wears the maillot jaune and leads the race by a scant 2 seconds. For Stages 10-12, watch as the sprinters teams try to reel back breakaways consisting of one to 6 riders and create opportunities for the fast men of the Tour while Nocentini tries to keep the yellow jersey. Mark Cavendish will try to take back the maillot vert (green sprinters jersey) from Thor Hushovd and go all the way to Paris for his first green jersey win of his career. The next week should be fairly pedestrian, some stages will be for the sprinters while some breakaways will survive. Stage 14 should start the fireworks anew as contenders and would-bes will try to erase margins and vie for the podium, if not the win. I am undecided about the race this year. Is Contador the leader of his own team? Is this whole rivalry thing a ruse for publicity? Could Armstrong win again? One thing is for certain, look for a selection to happen on Stages 13, 16, 17, 18, and definitely Stage 20. It has been a while since the final stage before the ceremonial ride through Paris pitted man against man instead man against clock. Likely Stage 17 will prove whether Armstrong's aging form will wither under the power of younger foes or not. Keep watching and enjoying! Don't worry about the green, white, or polka dot jerseys as much as the yellow. Pay attention to overall time and the following names: Armstrong, Contador, Vandevelde, and Wiggins. The first two are the only ones left that can realistically contend for the overall; Vandevelde (an American and my personal favorite) has been quiet thus far and could make a stir; Wiggins (a Brit) is having the Tour of his life and could supplant Leipheimer from his spot on the podium, if he plays his cards right.

Etape Tres

Fabian Cancellara showed tactical skill and luck today by hanging with the decisive move. After frustration brewed unabated for Team Columbia, they decided to shatter the race and the resulting 39 second time gap between that group and the peloton may prove difficult to overcome for some of the favourites. With ~20 K to go, Team Columbia produced an echelon (a staggered paceline) in the angled headwind and motored to the finish line with about 30 riders. This was no group of slouches, you see, Lance Armstrong was in the winning move as well as Cancellara. Armstrong was the only favourite in the move and he erased the 40 second gap created by his teammate and rival Alberto Contador in the prologue. This moved him into 3rd place. Oh, and by the way, Mark Cavendish won the stage with a blistering sprint. If you want to see better coverage, go to http://www.cyclingnews.com/. If you can't get streaming video, this site at least has a good live feed. So Armstrong has thrown down the gauntlet and shown that he may be less than willing to succomb to team tactics. We will see what happens tomorrow when he must ride with his chief opponent during the team time trial (all riders from a team ride together, in staggered start list with the other teams; the fifth rider that arrives marks the team's collective time). Enjoy and I am glad you are interested!! By the way, I am cheering for Christian Vandevelde. He rides for an american team, is a clean rider (hopefully), and is coming back from a wreck in May, during which he broke the spinous processes off of five cervical vertebrae.... ow. Go Christian! After that cheeky move today, I can't help but sheer for Armstrong a little.

Le Tour, Lefevre

Tour Fever is in full effect. This is one of three times a year I feel an overwhelming draw toward France. Two are racing related and the other is history related. Anyway, the Tour started on Saturday. It is pretty epic this year. No not because a certain Texan is in the peloton but due to the depth of the start list. The stars usually shine on le Grand Boucle but now they are truly training to sparkle during different parts of the race. The sprinters have always clawed for wins on the flats, climbers have always lusted for steep pitches, and time trialers have their thoughts cast toward the clock. It is more apparent than ever that pros are peaking not only for the Tour, but for very specific parts of the Tour. It is no longer possible to dominate in more than one aspect due to heightened scrutiny and testing.

For the third time in five years, Fabian Cancelara has won the prolougue time trial and will fight to keep the yellow jersey for a few days. In 2008 he did so with a calculated and ferocious attack during the final kilometer of a stage he had no business winning. This year we may see more of the same as he will covet the maillot jaune until the end of the week.

Hopefuls for the general classification will begin battling on Friday as the route makes the traditional turn into the Pyrenees. Look for Carlos Sastre, Cadel Evans, Levi Leipheimer, and Christian Vandevelde to hang in, Lance Armstrong to attack, and Contador to sit pretty.

While the usual happenings happen, watch the brave and foolish hunt for stage wins to the behest of the sprinters. Riders like Sylvain Chavanel, Thomas Voekler, and Christophe Moreau will put themselves to the steel in order to look as foolish as possible in the name of France's withered Tour hopes (they haven't won since le Blaireau did in 1985). Someone may attack unexpectedly and pull on the yellow jersey in time for Basteele Day!

Please don't focus on the scandals of professional cycling. Consider the monumental analogy for human suffering and achievement that the Tour de France represents. These men train to the tune of 15- 20000 miles per year just for the chance to finish the Tour, let alone win a single stage (there are 21 stages and 180 riders at the beginning so you do the math)! Then they pour themselves into the forge of sport, media, and human intrigue, hoping to be cut from the mold of as a winner. They don't get paid $50000 a day to sit on the bench half the time or pick their nose on camera. Some hardly make $50000 a year!

Please try to watch some of the great HD coverage by Versus. You will not regret spending an hour watching the final 40 or so Kilometers, I promise. Better yet, try to catch an entire early morning live cast of at least one stage. Trying to figure out just what the heck is going on might fry your brain, but I promise I can answer most questions. A million tiny things make the first half of a race interesting (wrecks, feed zones, group restroom breaks, etc.) and add up during the second half to leave you with every hair on your body standing up and your heart pounding as if you were there at the finale! If I am wrong, I will pay you one French franc.

Blog about Nothing...

What is the answer? To what you ask? Anything, I say. As I look out of my windows, I see a world rife with social, cultural, and technological proliferation. Is the world becoming better? Worse? Perhaps thats why I usually post about nothing in particular. I have random thoughts then vomit them onto the keyboard. Spell and Grammar Check hold my proverbial hair and then, Voila! Nothing. Just imagine when I start to teach Anthropology to college students next spring. In the words of our pastor, "The faster you are going, the more you need to slow down". Maybe next time I will try to be funny and, as usual, fail. But today, a little somber...

3.6 hours in B-ville

So in the vain of Ryan's post entitled "36 Hours in Raleigh", I thought I would write my own and inspire you all to visit our little burg.

Hour #1: De-boned chicken sandwich at Carter's (kill me with the mayo, please; seriously, I want to have a palpitation). Next, waltz over to the Small and shop at Belk's.

Hour #2: Take a walk at the river and see how many goats you can count head-butting each other and bleating self-importantly. Next, walk our wonderful nature trail.

Hour #3: Stroll our cute downtown and walk through the courthouse; I assure you, it is quite lovely inside. Next, pop into Reeve's and buy something you totally think you need, but really don't.

Hour #.6: Come to our house and swim in our pool. The liner in the shallow end has more wrinkles than Joan Rivers' real head (hidden under her prosthetic head) but it holds water and our girls love it!

We love our little town because we have found great friends to spend time with and be inspired by. It doesn't matter where you live, as long as you're with the right people and happy.

Living to excess

Ryan Lindgren has inspired me to question the confines of excess. How do you live just hard enough without dying? How many glasses of water WOULD be fatal? How many pieces of bubblegum can be chewed at once before you die of insulin shock (the world record for number of pieces at once was 36 the last I heard)? I once chewed 27 pieces of Super Bubble gum at once. The wad was about 3.5 inches in circumference and the puddle of pink sugar vomit was about 2 feet in diameter. Seriously, I was bored at work and attempted it but fell woefully short of glory. How many times can you bend over and then snap back to a standing position before you have an embolism? How much can you taunt a woodchuck before it will nibble your bum? I don't know. So stop asking me stoopid questions Matt Ring.

H2O intolerant

Does anoyone ever do things absentmindedly? What was I talking about? Oh yeah, yesterday I drank like 96 ounces of water in 2 hours without thinking about it at all. I have a lexan bottle that holds about 32 oz. and I filled it and then emptied it three times between 7AM and 9:30. That is a good thing, except for the periodic restroom visits( Matt, you mioght recognize this sign). And by periodic I mean every 20 minutes or so. People around here probably think I'm strange enough, but when I'm walking into the BR every forthour my "intriguing allure" is intensified. I often wonder if people also think it is strange that I carry my empty plastic bottle with me into the bathroom, intending to fill it in the water fountain upon exit. I promise I am not undergoing drug testing. Anyway, I guess the point is that I was extremely hydrated all morning but a little irritable and quick with some people. I was actually doing them a service by not letting them see a grown man have an accident in his office. I think I just blogged absentmindedly, reinforcing the point in the first place...

Ears to me!

I have an ear infection. It is annoying. To simulate, hire two people with nothing better to do to each place a single finger on an opposite ear. Then, tell them that the person that touches your brain gets a dollar. Ouch. Anyway, my ear is so swollen, I thought I would write about it...

Gigantic earlobe

A thousand clip-on earrings

Could not cover you

You stick out much more

Than your opposite headmate

Separated by hair

I wish you could move

I would tip you at people

Because Sloth loves Chunk

Though you may think I am kidding, I assure you the following picture is as a matter of fact me. Disregard the child to my right; he is a liar! But even I have a home and love.

Productivity?!?!

I have found recently that there are insidious and ever-present adversaries to productivity lurking around every turn. Sitting at work, I try to alternate 3 to 4 hours of hard concentrated productivity with about 20 or 30 minutes of "Me" time. Of course, "Me" is not very interesting or "mature"; ok so maybe I don't "dedicate my entire work day to work", and maybe I don't "shower every day" or "always stay awake when I'm at the wheel of my car", and maybe I don't "refrain from making faces behind my bosse's back, even when they turn around"... Anyway, the two largest enemies of my to do list are fantasy baseball and Hulu.com. I was roped into fantasy baseball by a friend and am enjoying it. I am second in my league with a commanding lead in about four categories; that's productive, right? There is probably irony associated with the fact that I have watched a couple of 20 minute long episodes of "The Office" while at work. Michael Scott would approve. But any site that will offer you free access to Justin Timberlake (siiiiiiggh) on SNL is alright by me. Maybe I am not a good employee. Maybe I am trying to maintain my sanity with a little bit of hilarity and unnecessary baseball stattage, you be the judge. But remember, I almost never get to take a proper lunch break. The number of people I have had to talk to while actually eating a sandwich would stagger Ms. Manners. If you call me at work and my voice sound garbled, it's probably a balogna and cheese Lunchable. So judge me accordingly.

long absence...

During this long absence from blogging, Jenny and I have lived through a tough few months. Work has been busy and stressful. We feel rejuvenated, however, through our shared experiences while walking with God...

The presence of God
Sunlight, cool wind through dense trees
The presents of God

The Old Testament
Not men, but Deliverers
Are it's importance

Reading my Bible,
Pondering Divine Message,
I release my fears

Not the best poet
It seems creative somehow
Suffer me anyway

Just thought I would express myself. Seriously, we are doing well. The girls are great and we are enjoying a bit more breathing room after ending this semester, finishing my thesis, and such. We miss ya'll and are sad that we haven't seen any of our favorite people for so long. Hope everyone is well!

Etapa numero dos...

Okay, now for the second leg of the trip. On Monday of our trip,
a guide acquired us at the Chateau Caribbean (French name,
Chinese owners, British/Caribbean colonial architecture) and
took us on the most adventurous portion of our trip. First, we
drove an hour to reach our destination: the rain forest. We saw
some interesting characters along the way, including some
cyclists training for the Tour de Belize and a creature of strange dimensions consisting of two Belizeans, one bicycle, and an oversized truck tire.


After arriving at the rain forest, we strapped on our safety gear and went ZIPLINING!! It was awesome! We had people that had never even flown before the trip that were brave enough to try it! It was pretty fulfilling to see them thrive outside of their comfort zones.




After ziplining through the rain forest canopy, we indulged in a little cave tubing. It was nice to float along and marvel at the natural wonders. I wish I had gotten a picture of the tubing (camera+water=new camera) as well as a huge wasp dragging a TARANTULA across our path. We walked further and accepted the opportunity to eat termites. I know what your thinking, but they taste, not surprisingly, of wood and mint. After our activities, we stopped at a roadside bar with chicken wire for windows and ate the most indescribably good stewed chicken and rice and beans (Belizean national dish). Our guide ate like the wind, indicating to us that we should do the same in order to get to the Belize Zoo before it closed. The Zoo was great with many native animals to Belize present. I will just put in a few to give an idea of the bio-diversity...


















And many others including howler monkeys, a puma, a harpy eagle, etc., etc. After this day, we transferred over to Corozal Town, which is in the north part of the country. Before we got there, we had more amazing adventures, which I will present in the next post...

Back form Belize

So we went to Belize with a group from the College. It was seven students plus one instructor plus Jenny plus me. The instructor that went was a riot and had us laughing constantly. And of course, I was there with my soulmate, Jenny, with whom I could spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week...

I know its probably past the statute of limitations for blogging about a trip, but I thought I would anyway. I will post for each city we visited. We left our town on the 27th of Feb. around 5 in the morning. After arriving in Atlanta, we hopped our flight down to Belize City and arrived at about 1:00. We cruised the town and marveled at the poverty and litter.

Past that, it was a unique, colorful experience which reminded me why there needed to be a man on the trip (I'm not intimidating but what they didn't know is that I get buckwild if necessary). In Belize City, the ethnographic background of most people is African, and the English Creole language they spoke could be heard everywhere.

We stayed at a nice place on the bay...

The Belize Museum was a nice attraction. The museum was a prison until 1993.

The museum held specimens displaying the biological and cultural marvels of Belize including Maya artifacts, an insect collection, and Belizean History.

We were able to find pretty good places to eat and shop and were happy to retire at night; that is until the party started at the park next door! Locals came and bumped rap music until about 1 in the morning. Jenny tried to run down there but I held her back. Anyway, after a couple of days there, we traveled north to Corozal Town but first we did some pretty amazing things along the way...

I actually read a book!!

I read a book recently. It was a book I didn't have to read. It was a book I chose. It was a book I didn't skim through at the speed of light, searching for relevant info. I enjoyed it verily. The book "Blonde Roots" offers a new and interesting perspective regarding the Trans Atlantic slave trade. The premise turns the tables with European commoners and elite enslaved by Africans. Bernardine Everisto researched the topic well and paints a logical, if temporally confusing picture of the possibilities posed by the hypothesis: what if the geographic, social, and cultural specifics of the Trans Atlantic slave trade were reversed? This book is disturbing yet funny, dark yet hopeful. If you don't mind a little gore here and there, it is an interesting twist on what we think we know. Enjoy!!

House pictures

Now that we have everything pretty organized, I was actually able to find the USB cord for our camera. I thought I would include some pictures for those of you interested in our new abode. And maybe in the future, I will actually post pictures from our life as opposed to finding lame pictures on the net, which is creepy, like leaving the stock pictures in a frame you bought. And by "you" I mean Matt Ring...

How could I forget Journey!!

You guys are awesome! What eclectic tastes! I also forgot "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen!! It totally fits into the (no pun intended) category of "perfect songs sung while wearing a codpiece". I tried to pick a song by Talking Heads but they're all so good and strange, I designated "Sand in the Vaseline" as a perfect album to be heard from beginning to end. And then there is Journey. Cheyney, thanks for alerting me to the error of my ways. "Don't stop beleivin" is most certainly, without a doubt, a perfect song. I'm also fond of "City lights". I could go on, but that would be self-indulgent. Now, excuse me while I open I-Tunes and get pumped up!!

Perfect Song?

I had a random thought; what constitutes the perfect song? I have my own standards and have designated a few for my own personal list.

Currently, I think the following songs are perfect (or as close as possible):

Try a little tenderness- Otis Redding (a little scary; not the Ducky version though)

Please, please, please let me get what I want- The Smiths (depressing but great)

Sexx Laws- Beck (come one, there is fridge/washer love in this video!!)

Its oh so quiet- Bjork (Bjork is awesomely nutty)

Among others...

My criteria are as follows:

A song must be short, infectuous, and make you wish for more when it ends. Please add your own!

Aaaaaand it begins....

I was driving with our three girls the other day. Shelby says, "Daddy?"; I say, "yes baby" (it is especially important to listen to her right now because she is really coming up with some special thoughts, I used to just ignore her and call her IT, J. K.!!!!);

Shelby: "Daddy, I'm falling in love with Sheldon........" (she's four years old, by the way)

Me: pause........

Me: "honey, do you know what that means?"

Shelby: "no, daddy"

Me: "relieved sigh"; "that's nice baby, is he nice to you?"

Shelby: "yes, I'm falling in love with him, for real"

So, it starts, my girls are getting more and more beautiful each day. And now one of them thinks she is falling in love "for real". Oh please give me patience and the ability to NOT kill teenage boys...

New question...

Oh Mark, you make me laugh! Of course I expected ya'll to agree with me. But seriously, I am glad you guys all gave your thoughts. I love that type of discourse. And really, you are all pretty doggone smart in different areas. What better group to disagree with me? I guess these are pretty generic questions but they are applicable because I cannot say I know how each of you would answer. So, with that in mind, who is your favorite historic figure, and why? And as soon as ya'll get tired of these kinds of things, just let me know by sending me hate mail or just not posting anymore.

You self indulgent weiners...

None of you agreed with me!! Has there ever been a larger monument to the self than a blog? I don't post so that you can discuss and try to one up me! Okay, look, sure clothing wasn't exactly invented by conventional means. It did take a discerning eye to pick the proper items to cover oneself. Could you imagine choosing poison ivy the first time? And anyway, without clothing would we have the same standards of shame? I think many things would be different. Kids go naked in many cultures until puberty; but they are clothed eventually based upon a standard of shame. I liked everyones ideas. I have to agree with Mark that the sandwich is awesome. The wheel was pretty smart, but every time you see a photograph of the guy who invented it, he's wearing clothes; BYE BYE credibility!!! The airplane is a good one, but man those life preserver seat bottoms would chafe the naked body! I especially enjoyed the way that Ryan totally alienated his sister for the sake of his brother in law. Methinks Ryan would be a good cast member on Survivor. His name could be Rotten Ryan or Janus Lindgren or Twoface Cheatem.

Inventive Post...

The four people whom regularly patronize this blog, let us discuss the most influential invention in the history of the world. Not necessarily the most benevolent or certainly not the most popular, but the most influential (feel free to be serious). Examples: I claim it to be clothing. The far reaching and all encompassing influence of clothing on so many facets of our lives is undeniable! I challenge anyone to disprove my claim! Someone once told me that the watch is the most influential. Please, give a more interesting idea than I have... I look forward to your responses. All four of you.

Rube would want you to participate.

Does this picture make me look feminine?

Okay, try to look past my hulking, intimidating visage. I know, I am a specimen; no one needs to remind me of this. So, considering this, why do people call me ma'am with disturbing frequency?? Does my voice color me female? Am I feminine in motion? I try to stomp around and destroy things as I pass, you know, to convey a proper manly presence. We men, we are either creating or destroying, there is no in between. I thought about it after Ryan Lindgren mentioned the fact that people mistakenly refer to him as "ma'am". I don't know about Ryan, but people don't even flinch or try to morph their words into "man" at the last second. They just apologize as if to say, "I'm sorry, your lady-face and spindly body fooled me into believing that I am dealing with a girl". Well, as the French say, "don't shoot!!"; I mean, "that is life". Ryan and I can start a long distance, two person support group during which we flatulate and punch things, to reinforce our masculine egos. Ryan, if you are called "ma'am" and need a good cry, text me. You can cry into my proverbial man bosom.

Poison Ivorama; am I as hot as Mickey Rourke now?

So... Kind of a lot has happened for us in the last month since I posted. We offered on a house. We then crawfished on that house (there was way too much 70's funk and other issues to be dealt with). I felt bad but we also fell in love with another house.

PROS: it's big enough; 4 bedrooms

has a sunroom

has a pool

is on a lake

is not the in-laws house

CONS: needs work (sort of a PRO)
PRO/CON: is close to the in-laws


Needless to say, we love it. We have spent a month doing what we can (painting, put up a wall, switched some cabinets around in kitchen, bought some furniture, etc.). We also set about cleaning up some brushy stuff at the lakeside. After two days and two cases of poison ivy, we are about 60% done. Needless to say, wash your hands if you think you have poison ivy on them... you never know where it will travel to. It is a terrible thing to look like Mickey Rourke [Wayne Newton phase, not badboy 80's Mickey Rourke (swoooon)] after a "freshening" because you were too stoopid to scrub your paws. Even Homo habilus probably cleansed after a rousing tool making, subsisting, survival frenzy. I am a filthy, stinking hominid...