New question...

Oh Mark, you make me laugh! Of course I expected ya'll to agree with me. But seriously, I am glad you guys all gave your thoughts. I love that type of discourse. And really, you are all pretty doggone smart in different areas. What better group to disagree with me? I guess these are pretty generic questions but they are applicable because I cannot say I know how each of you would answer. So, with that in mind, who is your favorite historic figure, and why? And as soon as ya'll get tired of these kinds of things, just let me know by sending me hate mail or just not posting anymore.

You self indulgent weiners...

None of you agreed with me!! Has there ever been a larger monument to the self than a blog? I don't post so that you can discuss and try to one up me! Okay, look, sure clothing wasn't exactly invented by conventional means. It did take a discerning eye to pick the proper items to cover oneself. Could you imagine choosing poison ivy the first time? And anyway, without clothing would we have the same standards of shame? I think many things would be different. Kids go naked in many cultures until puberty; but they are clothed eventually based upon a standard of shame. I liked everyones ideas. I have to agree with Mark that the sandwich is awesome. The wheel was pretty smart, but every time you see a photograph of the guy who invented it, he's wearing clothes; BYE BYE credibility!!! The airplane is a good one, but man those life preserver seat bottoms would chafe the naked body! I especially enjoyed the way that Ryan totally alienated his sister for the sake of his brother in law. Methinks Ryan would be a good cast member on Survivor. His name could be Rotten Ryan or Janus Lindgren or Twoface Cheatem.

Inventive Post...

The four people whom regularly patronize this blog, let us discuss the most influential invention in the history of the world. Not necessarily the most benevolent or certainly not the most popular, but the most influential (feel free to be serious). Examples: I claim it to be clothing. The far reaching and all encompassing influence of clothing on so many facets of our lives is undeniable! I challenge anyone to disprove my claim! Someone once told me that the watch is the most influential. Please, give a more interesting idea than I have... I look forward to your responses. All four of you.

Rube would want you to participate.

Does this picture make me look feminine?

Okay, try to look past my hulking, intimidating visage. I know, I am a specimen; no one needs to remind me of this. So, considering this, why do people call me ma'am with disturbing frequency?? Does my voice color me female? Am I feminine in motion? I try to stomp around and destroy things as I pass, you know, to convey a proper manly presence. We men, we are either creating or destroying, there is no in between. I thought about it after Ryan Lindgren mentioned the fact that people mistakenly refer to him as "ma'am". I don't know about Ryan, but people don't even flinch or try to morph their words into "man" at the last second. They just apologize as if to say, "I'm sorry, your lady-face and spindly body fooled me into believing that I am dealing with a girl". Well, as the French say, "don't shoot!!"; I mean, "that is life". Ryan and I can start a long distance, two person support group during which we flatulate and punch things, to reinforce our masculine egos. Ryan, if you are called "ma'am" and need a good cry, text me. You can cry into my proverbial man bosom.

Poison Ivorama; am I as hot as Mickey Rourke now?

So... Kind of a lot has happened for us in the last month since I posted. We offered on a house. We then crawfished on that house (there was way too much 70's funk and other issues to be dealt with). I felt bad but we also fell in love with another house.

PROS: it's big enough; 4 bedrooms

has a sunroom

has a pool

is on a lake

is not the in-laws house

CONS: needs work (sort of a PRO)
PRO/CON: is close to the in-laws


Needless to say, we love it. We have spent a month doing what we can (painting, put up a wall, switched some cabinets around in kitchen, bought some furniture, etc.). We also set about cleaning up some brushy stuff at the lakeside. After two days and two cases of poison ivy, we are about 60% done. Needless to say, wash your hands if you think you have poison ivy on them... you never know where it will travel to. It is a terrible thing to look like Mickey Rourke [Wayne Newton phase, not badboy 80's Mickey Rourke (swoooon)] after a "freshening" because you were too stoopid to scrub your paws. Even Homo habilus probably cleansed after a rousing tool making, subsisting, survival frenzy. I am a filthy, stinking hominid...