Language Lessons...

Jenny and I work at the college in town. Recently, a performing arts center was completed and dedicated. To honor the grand opening, the school flew in famous Russian folk musicians. They play the balalaika, sort of a cross between a guitar, banjo, and mandolin... a manguijo; a guibandolin; a tarjolinguibanmando... I digress. Anyway, we took them around our burgeoning Metropolis to aquaint them with life in the rural Southeast. The day started off with approximately a dozen understood English and Russian words between the lot of us. We went to an electronics store, Wal-Mart, The Dollar Store, Fred's, and Goodwill (hey, famous Russian folk musicians need 3 dollar shoes too!!). By the end of the day we had somewhat broken the barrier by talking about our kids and showing pictures, etc. They were exceptionally interesting and fun to be around. Maxime is the mature, leading man type; Vladimir the younger showman; and Volodya, the older eccentric. They also had a documentarian and his cameraman, both quiet but pleasant. It struck me how they seemed so unimpressed with our excessive lives and shrines to commercialism. They were interested in the little things. Things like squirrels, alligators, $3 shoes, Chinese Buffets, and gettin crunk!! At one of their performances some students got really into it and were dancing all over the new prim and proper arts center!! The Russian fellows loved it apparently. It is the only performance I missed! Anyway, I loved it and look forward to seeing our russian friends tonight at a dinner in their honor.

UGA/UF...

Okay, let me gather... This will be THE game of the season. Forget OSU/USC, let go of Texas/Oklahoma, disremember OSU/PSU. These games pail in comparison. Never before has this game meant so much to each team. This roiling boiling rivalry seethes underneath thinly lidded stoicism like so much boiled steak. The winner of this game will win the East, the SEC title game, and mark my words, the BCS title... But only if it's UF!!!! My partisanship canot be hidden any longer. The Gators don't need silly 100 man enzone celebrations to motivate them for this one. And, logically, the Gators should win. UGA is hobbled on both lines, foretelling Gator trench dominance. Florida has speed and ferocity in all 3 phases of the game. If Moreno is contained, then UF should be able to stop UGA on the wings of better secondary play. I for one would not like to hit a running lane and then be physically crushed by Brandon Spikes, Florida's 6-3 243 lb. monster linebacker.If UGA wins, they are simply better, I will be the first to say it. But to the nauseous sighs of everyone that is not a UF fan, Timmy Tebow plays UP in big games. So remember, Florida will be the only one of the two teams that can beat a Texas or Oklahoma, in addition to Alabama in my opinion. But, as you watch this game, think of me, my frazzled body and addled mind after my first week at work, defending my thesis, and anticipating this game. Holy goodness someone throw a bucket of water on me ala Flashdance. My office has a good lean back chair and high ceilings for bucket suspension ya'll...

Event updates

So, two things; I got a job at the College in town as coordinator of testing and career services. I am excited to contribute to the community and higher ed. Also, the parade was canceled for Ms. Lucretia's Dance troupe. So no miniature tire marks on my torso. We were disappointed but would rather forgo the parade for not having to dry our soaked to the bone trembling children afterward. Call us particular. This picture looks nothing like our girls but a naked mole rat ,though neither naked nor trembling, is bound to inspire mirth.

Parade of unbelievably sweety cuteness

Our girls are marching in a parade for their dance school today. They got little pink shirts to wear. Does anyone think it would be too much to run alongside the whole time while taking pictures and praising their grace and technique?? I guess that question will answer itself if I trip and get run over by a Shriner on a tiny motorcycle, stepped on by a tuba player, and drug briefly by an antique tractor. We will enjoy the parade either way and then need approximately one full day to recover from the cuteness overload.

Aske me about me... my favorite subject!

So today I (Ridge) interviewed for a job. It is a sort of entry level job in testing. Not animal testing (which is unfortunate because I have about 12 dogs that need to have lipstsick stuck in their noseholes and mascara rubbed on their gums sometimes) but human scholastic testing. The interview went well and I wasn't surprised by any questions. Anyway, hopefully it will turn out well and I will get the position. And if I do then let the good times roll!!! I will start to wear expensive velour track suits, buy ten dunkeys, name the rest of our children things like Dolllars, Gambler, and Golddust, and also put diamond sprinkles on my food. What could be more ballah than that?! So wish me luck!!

Do eggs want to come to the party in my tummy?!?

For those of you having a child soon or destined to have a child soon I have advice. We don't let our kids watch a lot of TV. If they do, they watch carefully selected programs that will not corrupt their gentle minds or reduce them to slobbering zombie children. One of these programs is Yo Gabba Gabba. It is a mixture of moral lessons, inventive games, visual candy, hip-hop laced musical scores, and general fun. A fellow named Mark (former lead singer of Devo) cameos with a quick art lesson (how to draw a potato bug, happy face, etc.). Elijah Wood and other celebrities also cameo occasionally, teaching dance moves like The Puppetmaster and The Jumping Jellyfish. The music is fun and infectuous in a good way. When you get a song stuck in your head that goes, "You gotta wait in line, you gotta wait in line.... Its only faaaiir to wait right theeeerrre.... No cuts, no buts, no coconuts..." and you don't really mind, you will know you have made a correct choice. Anyway, give it a try. If you don't like it, I will pay you one American Dollar.

Goats= really, really evil

Okay, I've already posted about the silly, hedonistically evil ways of Capra hircus. The other day, Jenny and our girls went to the local goat haven. While minding their own business, a goat made it clear that it was in distress. Jenny happened upon said goat doing it's best corpse imitation. She realized it was tangled in the wire fence and promptly loosened it's goofy horns. Dazed and probably starved/dehydrated, it wandered off. I am certain but there was probably some misguided agreed upon goat practical joke on humans. Another thing, when we feed the goats, the larger ones run the little ones off before they get their share. Come on now, I say, "I don't care how much bigger you are than another goat because you're still a goat"!! I am not a beleiver in any type of stratified goat hierarchy. They should just sit around and comiserate about their ascribed status as the world's silliest animal. Just look at this picture!! I mean, come on!!!

Geaux (get your fanny smoked in Gainesville) Tigers!!

This game made me nervous. I compare it to a good, solid family reunion. In the beginning, you aren't sure what to expect. After things commence, if things go well, the jitters subside. Inevitably, people make spectacles of themselves, clashes occur, mistakes are made; but then, eventually everyone settles in and enjoys themsleves. The results: Family Reunion- no one is murdered or bludgeoned with a folding chair... LSU at Florida- Gators smash the Tigers 51-21!!!

You then realize there was nothing to worry about in the first place.

K.I.D.W.O.F.O.B.

Kids in denial when ousted from our bed... So our kids are 4, 3, and 2. Those of you whom follow our blog with any regularity (all 4 of you) know that. So, we missed the bus on the whole keep your kids in their crib from the beginning, lose sleep in the first year but sleep better in the future thing, you know, logic. Admittedly, it was much easier for Jenny when she was nursing, thus I have no regrets. When you awake with the feeling that you slept in an iron maiden after being in a street brawl while going over Niagra Falls in a hamster ball, you start to reconsider. Around 10 or 11 o'clock, one or both of our oldest girls creeps into our bed. At this point, there isn't much of a way to get them back to their bed without an elaborate strap and latch system and much lost sleep. I'm considering some type of James Bond inspired spring powered catapult ejector mechanism that will launch them back into their bed, afterwhich a soundproofed cage snaps shut around them. I really think that these drawings are ready for the Patent Office!! Its probably illegal everywhere except Colorado City but what the Man doesn't know won't hurt the Man.

Patriotic duty

Jenny and I voted yesterday. The early voting process was very easy and I highly recommend it. I don't know about Jenny, but I cast write ins for President and Vice-president. I've been thinking, this country doesn't need sober persons at the helm... We don't need direction and sound rhetoric to guide us... We don't need a 700 Billion dollar bailout, this country needs a 700 Billion dollar Inauguration. I thought to myself, "Which candidate displays the best policy and self-posession; scratch that, which candidate displays the best showmanship?!? Sadly, neither could pull off rising to the stage through the center of a grand piano or be lowered from the rafters on a giant trapeze or sing with their hair on fire. So I wrote in Michael Jackson for President and David Lee Roth as Vice-president. I figure, what could show the world the unbridled awesomeness of the USA better than a kick-fanny, pyrotechnic spectacle? Sure, mandatory sleepovers at the White House and a Ferris Wheel on the Lawn might send the wrong message, but "I wish they all could be California Girls" could make a great National Anthem. Think about it...